


Where Soul Meets Body

by kissedmequiteinsane



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: (spoiler: it's them breaking up), Angst, Episode: s06e05 The Gospel of Josephine, F/M, Fleimkepa!murphy, Hurt Clarke Griffin, It is now, POV Bellamy Blake, POV Clarke Griffin, Protective Bellamy, Protective Murphy, The 100 (TV) Season 6, and i stan, bellamy blake is an intellectual, is that a thing?, literally the lightest of becho i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 08:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19080988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissedmequiteinsane/pseuds/kissedmequiteinsane
Summary: Josephine took another step to him, biting her lip. “My father killed me. And all those failed attempts at finding a host? Looking back at it, I think it was him trying to repent. Trying to right his wrongs. Something I still feel like he’s trying to do.” She gave Bellamy a humorless smile.“But I don’t want it. Not like…..not like this…not when it’s not just me in here.”She let that last bit hang in the air for a moment, watching him again, seeing the way the cogs in his head spun, taking in that information.“For over a century, every host we inhabit is gone. Every single time. Leaving just a shell. Just the body for us to overtake. Every single time…except now.”---Bellamy tries to figure out a way to save Clarke when he and Josephine realize that her consciousness is still there.





	Where Soul Meets Body

**Author's Note:**

> (Fic title taken from the song by the same name from Death Cab For Cutie. Fic was originally named something else til I heard the song live yesterday and it just stuck with me.)
> 
> This was just supposed to be a quickie post 6x05 fic that somehow sprawled into a 12k monster that took me a week to write. Doubt the show will go this way bUT HEY, a girl can dream.

At first, it was all just a game to her, placing metaphorical bets on who in the Earth Group knew this girl the least, to see who really wouldn’t notice anything was off- that Clarke Griffin wasn’t quite _Clarke Griffin_ any longer. Sure her mother had noticed that ‘Clarke’ had suddenly written with her right instead of her left, but hey, ambidexterity was a thing. Surely it could easily be written off. Bellamy Blake though, he wasn’t quite someone Josephine was prepared for.

She could practically see the wheels turning in his head the whole day, could feel his eyes on her whenever she made imperceivable missteps (or at least, that’s how she _thought_ they were). But then there he went with that _language_ again, words mashed up together in a not-quite-broken English, and she could see the dawning on his face, see the recognition (or lack thereof) in his eyes when she so clearly didn’t understand him. He knew this wasn’t Clarke Griffin any longer.

What came after that should’ve been easy: tranquilize him, hide the body, alert her parents, get rid of him and continue on with the mission of finding other hosts, other _nightbloods_ , within this group—or to find Clarke’s mother who apparently knew how to _make them_ in the first place.

Instead of that though, when Josie moved to stand upright, she felt her world tilt on its axis, felt a pain so searing through her head she felt that getting shot might hurt less. She gasped, stumbling back and falling against the nearest wall as she let out a groan of pain. All her years of inhabiting hosts, and never once had she experienced this.

 ** _Bellamy_**.

The name rang out in her head and Josie grit her teeth, trying to focus. She righted herself, sparring one last glance towards the sedated man on the ground before she left, his eyes wide and glossy as they followed her out. Her guard didn’t say anything to her—and in turn, Josie said nothing back, deciding for now to just leave the man there.

 

* * *

 

The thought of his eyes wouldn’t get out of Josephine’s thoughts all that night though.

In fact, every dream she had seemed to feature them in some way.

The dreams were odd though, too…succinct, too in-depth to really feel like dreams at all.

She saw Bellamy’s eyes in a dimly-lit cave, his hand on her shoulder and a makeshift target drawn a ways away while barrels of guns and ammunition were scattered around them.

She saw Bellamy’s eyes bright and piercing, fierce as he gripped her hand tight, the only thing keeping her alive as she dangled helplessly over a pit full of spikes.

She saw his eyes on hers, concerned, the word _together_ wafting over her softly- almost as softly as his hand coming over hers as they pulled down some sort of lever together.

Josephine woke up after that, a light sheen of sweat along her face and her hands shaking, heart pounding.

_Bellamy._

She huffed, shaking her head. She just needed to get her bearings back a bit more, that’s all. The first few days were always a bit stilted. At least that’s what she told herself as she kicked off her blankets and reached for the notebook next to her. It was the middle of the night, but she decided to draw, the glow of two moons through the open windows giving her enough light. And if she ended up drawing the dips and lines of mountain peeks, then she wasn’t about to say it aloud.

 

* * *

 

 

The second night at least Bellamy Blake didn’t infest her dreams. That didn’t mean they were any better though.

No, instead Josie’s dreams were nightmares- horrible, vivid, way too real to be just dreams.

She felt her hand shaking as she plunged the tip of a knife into a boy’s throat, her voice shaking as she hummed him to ‘sleep’, warm blood seeping through the cracks of her fingers.

She saw lifeless bodies, adults and children alike, slumped over dead, like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, red, blistered skin covering them.

She saw a boy with long hair tied to a post, his words muffled but soft in her ear as more warm blood seeped through her fingers. A woman on a table, blood gushing from her mouth, pooling around a bullet wound. She saw the sky tinged red, a rocket taking off in the distance, a wave of nothing other than death hurdling towards her all the while.

More blood.

More bodies.

_“You really are the commander of Death.”_

Josie shot up with a scream.

 

* * *

 

It was another day before she finally decided to do something about all this. She knew she should tell her parents- after all, in over two-hundred years, the Hosts _never_ lingered, but…that’s not where she found herself going. No, instead she found herself going towards where the other Earthlings were. She had no doubts that by now they all knew exactly who she was (after all, she’d never gotten rid of Bellamy Blake. Had left him there long enough for the poison to wear off) but for the first time in days she felt like each step she was taking in the direction felt _right_ , so she was going to go for it. She knocked on the doorframe before walking in.

Almost immediately two guns were trained on her, one from a girl with a brace on her leg and fire in her eyes and another- eyes she’d grown quite accustomed to seeing in her head the last few nights.

“I come in peace.” She started, holding her hands up. She looked them over warily, gaze going around the room before landing on Bellamy’s. “I just….I need to talk to you.”

There was silence in the room and she looked around again. Bellamy Blake. Jordan Green. John Murphy. _Raven Reyes_.

Josie felt her lips quirk up a bit as the voice in her head spoke up, filling in the blank for her.

A moment later she heard the safety latch click back into place on the guns and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, Bellamy speaking in that language again all the while to the others. Soon enough they’re all standing and filing out, Murphy the last one, with a dangerous look in his eyes, one that sent a shiver down Josie’s spine.

 _“They will burn this world down, just like they did their last one.”_ Her father’s words rang through her head and she swallowed, closing the door behind them all, leaving only her and Bellamy in the room.

Bellamy who wouldn’t even look at her now.

“You know I meant it, what I said the other day,” Josie started, her gaze on the man so intent that she could easily see the way his shoulders tensed. “We didn’t see it as murder if it was willing.” His fingers flexed around the handle of the gun placed down onto the table.

“But this. Clarke. It wasn’t…she’s not—” Josephine sighed, rubbing her temples and her head panged again. Whenever she closed her eyes though, she didn’t see darkness- instead she just saw flashes of other things. Of another life. A life that clearly wasn’t hers.

“Clarke wasn’t willing.”

Josie gasped when the gun suddenly clanged hard again the table, the slam of it making her jump. “Of _course_ she wasn’t willing!” Bellamy shouted at her, finally looking up, anger and anguish fighting for dominance in his features as he glared at her. “After everything she’s ever been through? After all the bullshit and all the fighting and all the _pain_ you think she would’ve been willing for _this_? To be your….your puppet? To die like _this_?” Even though he was gritting his teeth and anger rolled off him in waves she could still see the wetness gathering in his eyes. “She did everything she could, for everyone. She _tried_. She always bore it so—”

“So they don’t have to.”

Bellamy froze, eyes widening, looking at her as if he’d seen a ghost (or, well, heard one). His jaw dropped a bit, a little ‘wha’ slipping out and finally Josie decided to take a little step closer into the room, frowning at him. “She bore it. So they didn’t have to.”

His hand moved away from the gun and he stood up straighter, watching her still, feeling like maybe he should pinch himself.

“For over a century we’ve done this. Inhabit the hosts. Live full lives. Over and over for all eternity. For over a century I’ve lived in different bodies, taken different forms. But this….this has never happened before.”

She reached up to her neck for a moment, a faint yellow bruise just along her clavicle—a bruise put there by Bellamy’s hands around her throat during the eclipse.

“When we first got to Sanctum, we had no idea about the eclipse either. What it could do to us.” She let her hand fall away. “My father had an axe. I was dead before I even fully realized what’d happened.” Josie looking up at him then, gauging his eyes for a reaction. “You saw what it was like, the first time he brought me back. But there were times before it, unsuccessful attempts….those girls weren’t so willing either. But somewhere along the line…they did. And somewhere along the line, we became like..gods. And somewhere along the line, I lost my way.”

She took another step to him, biting her lip. “My father killed me. And all those failed attempts at finding a host? Looking back at it, I think it was him trying to repent. Trying to right his wrongs. Something I still feel like he’s trying to do.” She gave Bellamy a humorless smile. “But I don’t want it. Not like…..not like this…not when it’s not just me in here.”

She let that last bit hang in the air for a moment, watching him again, seeing the way the cogs in his head spun, taking in that information.

“For over a century, every host we inhabit is gone every single time. Leaving just a shell. Just the body for us to overtake. Every single time…except now.”

She took another step closer but this time he took one back, shaking his head. “No. This—you. You murdered her. She’s _gone_.” “She’s _not_.” Josie tried to emphasize. “She’s _here_. And she’s in my head— _her_ head— I… _ugh_.” She pursed her lips, about to speak again, but before she could Bellamy was rounding on her, gun pointing her way, safety clicked off. “You _killed_ her _.”_

“Sh-She…she called you! Every day. For years. On the ground.” Josie stuttered, hands raising up again. Bellamy’s hand trembled. “A mountain. People in it…you two killed the people inside. Together. ..And…and then she left you.”

He flinched like he’d been slapped.

The gun lowered.

Josie barely let out a breath.

“F…For days now. I’ve been having dreams…and nightmares. There’s blood a-and bodies. Heartache. _Pain_. I didn’t know what it was at first but…now I do. And I know they’re not dreams….they’re memories. They’re _Clarke_. She’s here. Inside. Somehow… _somehow_. I just…I don’t know how to get her out. Or rather..” she swallowed, her own fingers trembling now. “Or rather how to get _me_ out. I lived my life. _Multiple_ times. But Clarke?” She gave another sad little smile. “I’ve only seen glimpses, but…she deserves more than this. She has a whole life still ahead of her. I don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t get to have it.”

The gun clattered to the table again. Josie looked up to see tears in Bellamy’s eyes again, but this time the look wasn’t mixed with anger or anguish. For the first time, it was mixed with hope.

* * *

 

In the days that followed, Bellamy spent more time with Josephine than anyone else. Josie told her parents she was easily using the Earth boy, getting him swayed her way so he could tell her more about Night Bloods, about how Abby Griffin made them in the first place. As far as Russell and Simone were concerned, Bellamy was none the wiser to the fact that Clarke was ‘dead’, and Josie planned on keeping it that way.

In reality though, they were trying to figure out ways to get Clarke back. Bellamy didn’t tell the others though—in fact, they didn’t even know where he went off to most days, but he was fine with that. The less people that knew, the better.

It didn’t take long for Bellamy to deduce that the reason that Clarke was still alive was because she’d done this before. “Years ago. On Earth. Clarke purposefully implanted a chip in her head. Something that could’ve- _should’ve_ killed her. She saved us all.” His voice was soft as he said it, a little ghost of a smile tugging on his lips.

“Lexa.” Josie murmured in response and he glanced up at her. “That…..that’s a name she’s thought before. Or, um...Heda?” Bellamy nodded. “She’s thought it. Especially now with you saying that. Others too. Finn. Wells. Mostly those are at night though. When the dream-memories happen.” She explained, watching him carefully. “In the day though…those names aren’t really often. Instead it’s her mom. Her friends here. Madi. …And you.” _That_ got his attention and he looked up at her, gaze unreadable. “The names are there but...nothing like yours. Not as strong. As desperate.” Bellamy ducked his head down, flipping a page in a book her was poured over and clearing his throat quietly instead of answering.

 

* * *

 

On the third night as Bellamy’s about to leave Josephine grabbed his wrist, tugging him to a stop. “Wait!” it froze him, making his eyes widen.

He’d started growing used to the new tone of Clarke— _Josephine’s_ voice- higher, softer, more light and carefree. But this time, it wasn’t that at all. This time it was _Clarke’s_ and hearing it nearly made his heart somersault right out of his ribcage.

He looked back at her.

“I-It’s late, and it’s raining and—“ a crack of thunder boomed overhead, making Josie let out a little squeak and Bellamy felt the corners of his lips tug up into a little smirk.

“And you’re afraid.”

“We are _not_!”

That made the smirk slip away, something soft yet serious replacing the expression, something flittering through his gaze and he let out a breath before finally nodding, making a show of toeing off his boots to assure her he’d stay before he got up to lock the door, securing them for the night. He dog-eared the pages they were on in their books. Left little marks on all the notes they had before he closed it all up and nodded for her to settle in for bed while he made his way over to the couch.

“Bell?”

He looked over, seeing the uncertainty in her ( _their_ ) eyes.

“You’re much too tall for that tiny couch. Come on.” This time she was the one emphasizing things, making a show of putting up a pillow divider in the middle of the bed, smiling hopefully at him and he laughed, soft and warm. It was the first time Josephine had heard Bellamy laugh. It wasn’t the first time she felt Clarke’s heart skip a beat.

 

* * *

 

The next night he slept over as well, despite the sky being clear enough that he could see the stars through the window. She was asleep beside him, blonde hair fanned out along her pillow, hand slightly outstretched towards him, resting on the divider between them and he let out a soft sigh, turning onto his side to face her. It was so easy to pretend like nothing was different right now, like nothing was _wrong_. Like Clarke hadn’t technically been murdered…like there weren’t two souls living in one body. The glow of the moon illuminated over the dips and slopes of her face, her features soft with sleep. He realized he’d never seen her look as peaceful like this in all the years he’s known her.

In the blink of an eye though the peace was shattered and she shot up like a bolt, gasping and shaking and he was up in an instant, shoving the pillows aside to try and grab for her, shushing her softly. “Hey, hey, shhhh. Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He put a hand on her face, another through her hair to push the locks away from her face. “Breathe, princess.”

The name slipped out of him without him even realizing it, whispered out as easily as an exhale and he hardly felt the way her body tensed, didn’t notice how Josephine had clenched a fist into the bedding on her side, away from view. “I’m sorry…” the voice was soft, high. Not at all Clarke. Reality came crashing down around him.

Bellamy still didn’t move away though.

“Don’t be. It’s okay. C’mon.” He combed his fingers through her hair once more, pushing it back before giving her a little nudge to lay back, glad when she did so willingly.

It was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke again. Bellamy could tell she hadn’t fallen back asleep- could see it in the rise and fall of her chest, in the shadow of her eyelashes ghosting along her cheek as she stared at the ceiling. “You make her feel safe you know.” Josie murmured, finally turning her head to blink over at him. “She….she’s scared. Clarke. But with you here..it helps. Makes her feel not as alone.” Josie turned completely, lying on her side to face him. “It’s like retribution for six years of radio silence.” He smiled, the outline just barely visible in the almost-dark.

He felt her hand brush along his and he spread his fingers slightly, their fingertips tangling together against the bundle of blankets still between them. “As long as you’re breathing, she knows you won’t stop til you figure this out. As long as you’re breathing…she has hope.”

* * *

 

Despite waking up in the early dawn hours to get back to his quarters without being seen, he’d been caught before the door even clicked closed. Not by a Sanctum guard or anything- but probably by something worse.

“Here I was beginning to think you’d been body snatched too.”

Bellamy’s head whipped around to see Echo, sitting at the little table in the corner of their room. The bags under her eyes and the empty bottle in the trash told him she hadn’t slept that night. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest, his fingertips still faintly warm from Jo-Clarke’s fingers between his.

“I just…lost track of time last night, trying to figure out how to bring Clarke back—” Echo cut him off with a bitter laugh, shaking her head.

“Bellamy, Clarke is _dead_.”

“ _No_.”

He rounded on her, rapidly shaking his head, “No, she’s not. She’s still there, she’s just-” “Bellamy, come _on_!” Echo cried, desperation lacing her tone. “Look…you _saw_ that video. You told me what’d been done to that girl all those years ago. That’s the same thing that’s happened here. They killed her! They killed Clarke and they might go after Madi next and instead of trying to keep her and the rest of us safe, you’re sleeping with the enemy. Don’t you see? She’s playing you!”

“ _Enough_!”

He’d probably been loud enough to wake the others, but right now, he didn’t care. His heart was pounding and he felt like his hands might start shaking had they not been balled up into fists.

“Echo….look. I know how it sounds. I _know_. But...Clarke is still there. Inside. Somehow. Even Josie’s-” Echo scoffed at the nickname, giving Bellamy a dirty look that he ignored, “Surprised by it. She said not a single Host has ever survived. And yet….Clarke has. She’s _there_.”

“How can you be so sure, Bellamy? After all, Jordan ratted us out on day _one_. How can you be sure that things this girl is telling you aren’t just things her father taught her to say. They know all about us. Including, clearly, our weaknesses.”

This time he couldn’t ignore the look shot his way- nor could he ignore the guilt swirling through him once more. He pushed through it though, shaking his head.

“Because she….she knows things. Private things. Things only Clarke would know.” His admittance to that didn’t make him feel any less guilty. But still, it was true. Jordan may know of Mount Weather and Wanheda. He may know of Praimfaya and the conclaves. But he didn’t know that Bellamy wrote down’s Clarke’s name as one of the one hundred people to save to go down into the bunker. He didn’t know that Bellamy had begged Clarke to stay in Arkadia after they’d killed all the Mountain Men. He didn’t know that Bellamy was the only person to keep her sane while she was alone on the ground for years. “It’s her, Echo. We just….need to figure out how to extract Josephine without losing Clarke in the process. And that’s what we’ve been working on.”

He’d expected the silence that followed, but what he hadn’t expected was the rueful smile on Echo’s lips, the resignation on her face.

“You know, up on the Ring? I always knew I was just a place holder for you.”

Bellamy froze, his eyes widening slightly before he shook his head, “Echo, no. I—” She cut him off with a shake of her head and she moved to stand, that same look on her face. “You were hurting and you needed someone and I was happy to be that for you. I was happy to be able to be the one to give you some kind of peace, to give you some sort of tether so you wouldn’t drift away. But then we came back down to Earth. And she was still alive. And I just figured…you know? We had a good run. But that was that and we’d run our course. It was sweet of you, to tell me that nothing was going to change, and naively I let myself have a bit of hope. That hey, maybe you were right.” Her little smile turned sad and she looked down, running her fingers along the wood of the table before she took another step closer and looked up at him.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re miserable, Bellamy. I don’t want to stand in the way of what you want because of some warped sense of duty or loyalty. I couldn’t live with myself for it. But also? I don’t want to be a second choice.” She was in front of him at that point, able to clearly see the heartbreak in his eyes mixed with the guilt. She could see he was conflicted.

“I love you Bellamy. And I know you love me. Nothing will ever change that. The thing is…the _type_ of love you have for me? That’s what’s changed. And I….I’ll be okay with that. I promise.” She reached up to cup his face and she leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Up in the sky, you found solace in me. But she’s had your heart since the moment your feet first touched the ground.”

He didn’t say anything- but then, he didn’t have to. Six years alone with a small group of people- you learn how to read them pretty well.

“You should tell the others. About Clarke. Maybe Raven can help figure it out. Or Jordan. Maybe even Madi? She’s been so distraught for days but at least she’s letting us keep her on lock. Maybe she and the other Commanders can come up with a way to help.”

Bellamy’s head shot up, eyes widening once again. “Wait. That’s it.”

“..What?”

“The Commanders! Their Flamekeepers knew how to safely extract the Flame to put it into the next one. Becca’s tech is what made the Flame….maybe it’s the same tech they’re using here.” His words were rambling a bit, but he looked…hopeful.

“This might be how we can save her.”

* * *

 

Getting Madi to keep put to stay safe was hard enough when she’d found out the people of Sanctum had killed her mother. But when she found out that there was a chance that Clarke was still alive? It took them literally holding her in place to keep her from barging out.

“But I can help! We know the words! And Gaia knows the ritual! It _has_ to be us!”

“I said _no_ , Madi.” Bellamy grit out for what was probably the third time in less than a minute. “You need to stay here. Where you’re safe. And Gaia needs to stay with you. If anything happens to you…” “It won’t!” “It _could_! And I can’t lose you too!”

Madi stopped at that, looking up to see the worry in Bellamy’s eyes before he sighed and crouched down to be eye-level with her. “I know you love her more than all of us. But right now what Clarke needs from you is for you to lie low and stay _safe_.” She looked like she wanted to argue it still, but..he had a point. So finally she sighed and nodded and he managed to give her a little smile. “Good. Now, Gaia. Just…give me a crash course on what to do?”

“No need.”

All their heads whipped around, the three tensing up for a moment before they saw who was in the doorway.

Murphy quirked a brow at them, leaning against the doorframe, “One- if you’re gonna keep moving the kid between our rooms, the least you could do is be a little less loud and a lot more inconspicuous. And two- why get a crash course when you have your very own fully…-- _slightly_ trained Fleimkepa right here.”

 

* * *

 

It had been somewhat easy to get Josephine’s guard Jade to let Bellamy by whenever he came through. It was a lot more difficult to get Murphy in though- especially when muttering about scalpels.

Jade finally relented though, letting them inside and safely closing the door behind them. And when Bellamy said he might’ve figured out how to fix everything the smile he got in return was blinding. It warmed his insides for a moment, made him feel like things were finally going right, before reality came crashing back onto him.

He watched Murphy casually twirl a knife between his fingers as he walked towards Jo-Clarke and Bellamy tensed. “ _Wait_.”

He was by her in a second, some feral, intrinsic feeling bubbling up inside himself to just _keep her safe_.

This could all end horribly. This could end with Josephine’s AI ripping out Clarke’s brainstems. It could make her bleed out, could make her go brain-dead. This could cause the AI to malfunction and it could so easily take Clarke down with it. This wasn’t the Flame. After all, the Commanders all remembered themselves when they ascended, their minds weren’t wiped clean.

He hadn’t fully realized he’d stood in front of her, shielding her, until he felt her hand against his.

“ _Bellamy_.”

There it was again. It wasn’t Josephine; it wasn’t the light, breathy quality to her voice that she’s had, one that Bellamy was begrudgingly growing accustomed to, but _her_. Clarke. Lower, quieter, more assured despite the tinge of fear lacing the word.

Murphy mumbled something about getting towels and blood before he was gone, leaving the two (three) of them alone.

Bellamy knelt down in front of the chair Jo-Clarke was sitting in, turning his hand so he could hold hers. He had deja’vu of another time they were in this situation. Except this time, they were trying to take the chip _out_. And this time, it was _his_ hand that was trembling.

“She loves you, you know.”

The voice was all Josephine again.

“It’s not the same type of love that she has for her mother, or for her daughter. In fact, she’s never felt this strongly about anyone in her life _ever_. And she just…wanted you to know that. Just in case.”

 _In case anything happens to me_ …

How many times in his life will he have to hear those words come from her lips?

“She…she’s there right now? Clarke? She um..can she hear me?”

Josephine bit her lip, nodding. “It’s….not as simple as that but..yeah. She’s here too.”

Bellamy nodded, his fingers on hers tightening. “Clarke, I…I want you to know that I..” he rolled his lips into his mouth, a million things spilling out across his thoughts. So many things he wanted to say. But as he looked up at her, one specific thought came to mind. The one thing more important to Clarke Griffin than anything- even herself. If he couldn’t save her…he could at least give her this. “I promise, if anything happens to you…I’ll take care of Madi. I swear I will. I will not let _anything_ , especially this, happen to her.” He looked up, keeping his eyes locked on hers, and for a moment he was speaking to Josephine too—because regardless of her being helpful now, it didn’t quite rebuke all the damage she and her family had done for centuries. “I’ll burn this place to the ground and everyone along with it before I let that happen.”

Murphy chose that moment to make a reappearance, some towels in his arms and a bowl, his hands still slightly damp from obviously being washed. The way he explained everything seemed simple enough and he spoke causally, like he was giving a recipe and not like he was about to rip out something fused to Clarke’s skull.

Bellamy helped moved Clarke’s hair, gritting his teeth at the sight of the shoddy stitches at the back of her neck, the skin underneath still red and healing from being sliced open. Surprisingly, Murphy was quiet, methodic as he used a pair of scissors to carefully snip apart the stitches. “You might wanna use one of those towels to bite down on.” Was all he said, giving them a look.

Bellamy looked to Jo-Clarke, noting the paleness to her face, the fear struck through her eyes, but behind that was determination and she shook her head, “Just do it.”

Bellamy laced his fingers through hers, giving a squeeze. He didn’t dare break eye contact- even as Murphy took the knife and reopened the gash at the back of her head.

Black blood immediately oozed out, dripping onto the towel on the floor and Jo-Clarke’s hand in his was like a vice, practically cutting off blood circulation. She didn’t let out a peep though, the entire world of Sanctum none the wiser that behind a closed door they were losing one of their precious Primes.

Once the incision was wide enough Murphy let out a shaky breath and dug his fingers in, finally making Jo-Clarke suck in a sharp breath, her grip getting impossibly tighter. A little whimper escaped her the same time Murphy breathed out a “Got it.”

Bellamy moved, shifting the crouch in front of her again and he grabbed both her hands this time, gripping them just as tight. “Just focus on me.” He murmured quietly, using their joined hands to reach up, catching a tear that was slipping down her cheek. The metallic smell of blood was already hitting his nostrils. He wondered how much time they had left til the guard knocked on the door.

“Ready?” Murphy asked from above and Bellamy glanced up at him before back to Jo-Clarke, her tears coming more steadily now as she nodded.

“I-I’m sorry….I’m sorry for what my…what my family’s done. What _I’ve_ done. I’m so sorry…”

“You’re forgiven.” Bellamy said immediately, keeping his eyes on hers, his own gaze blurring a bit from tears starting to gather. “If you want forgiveness, I’m giving it to you. You’re forgiven.”

“ _Quia nunc vale_.”

They should’ve reconsidered the towel thing.

The words that triggered the Flame removal had the same effect, the AI trying to come loose but there was a struggle, Murphy trying to pull it out as quickly and as carefully as possible but the moment it started Jo-Clarke let out a loud, pained noise, the AI resisting extraction, feeling like it was yanking her spine out from inside herself. Blood gushed out around the chip and the next thing they knew the door was being knocked open.

“ _Hey_!”

Everything after that happened in the blink of an eye, all survival instinct kicking into gear.

Without even thinking about it Murphy launched the bloodied knife across the room, catching Jade right in the jugular and killing her before she even hit the ground. Bellamy was up in a flash too, hurdling across the room to slam the door shut and locking it.

They’d dispose of the body later.

The commotion caused Murphy to lose his grip on the chip for a moment, letting it sink further into Clarke’s neurons before he refocused and then Bellamy was back, this time with a small towel in hand that he nudged up to her lips. “Bite.” He commanded simply, quietly, and once he did he nodded to Murphy, giving him the okay to _really_ work it out.

Even muffled, Jo-Clarke’s screams of pain felt like they rang throughout the room. They definitely echoed inside him, searing into his psyche.

It felt like hours but in what had actually barely even been a minute the chip was finally out and Murphy dropped it into the bowl beside them.

Clarke slumped over in the chair and onto Bellamy, her body limp, lifeless, not even moving with the rise and fall of breathing and he panicked as he stayed in front of her, keeping her upright. “ _Murphy_!” “I know, I know!” he shouted back, his fingers shaking as he grabbed a clean towel, trying to stem the bleeding.

“Clarke, come on. Come _on_! Don’t do this to me, please!” Bellamy begged, shifting so he could move her, trying to pick her head up, tapping her cheek, giving her a little jostle. _Anything_. “I can’t—” his voice cracked, eyes watering a bit more. Even Murphy’s gaze was glossed over as he grit his teeth, trying to stop the bleeding. “I can’t lose you _again_! _Clarke_!”

Then, barely audible even with how close they were- he heard it, a quiet, raspy little breath.

“Clarke?”

He ducked his head down, trying to look at her face. He saw her eyelids flutter, heard another rattling, weak little intake of breath.

Just as his heart was about to stop beating, hers seemed to start once again.

The relief he felt literally made him dizzy and he closed his eyes for just a second before springing into action and looking up at Murphy. “Get Abby. She needs _proper_ stitches.” “But—” “ _Now_ , Murphy!”

Bellamy’s hand took over where Murphy’s was, holding the towel to the back of her neck. He ignored the way his fingers tinged with her blood almost immediately and instead managed to lift her despite the angle. He shushed her gently when she whimpered, murmuring to her, and Murphy watched for just a moment before ducking out a back door, running as fast as he could back to their quarters and hoping no one saw the black caked onto his skin.

* * *

 

It’d barely been ten minutes, but to Bellamy it felt like a decade, his hand gripped tight at the back of her neck to stem the blood flow, watching warily as her chest rose and fell disjointedly, like her body wasn’t quite able to figure out how to get the rhythm of her breathing right. He didn’t even want to focus on his surroundings either: black splatters on the ground, the table, pooled on the floor. A body in the corner. Instead all he focused on was her breathing, the too-pale color of her face. He didn’t think he’d be able to get his own breathing under control either—not until he saw a different color, not until he saw the blue of her eyes and the recognition in her gaze. Not until he knew he had Clarke back (again).

The same back door he’d run out of was opened again and in came Murphy, flanked by a terrified Abby and an even more panicked Madi, Gaia coming up behind them, looking like she was ready to kill anyone who came too close.

“Murphy, why’d you—”

“I didn’t give him a choice.” Madi spoke up, giving Bellamy a stern look that screamed Heda. That dared him to question her. Bellamy pursed his lips, looking to Gaia for a moment before turning to Abby.

“The bleeding’s mostly stopped, but she needs stitches. And the wound to be cleaned. Otherwise…” he let that sentence hang in the hair and Abby nodded before going on, a med box clutched in her grip. It took every ounce of strength Bellamy had to move away, to give Abby the space she needed to work to save her daughter’s life (again).

Sometimes he really hated deja’vu.

His head snapped up when he heard a quick two taps against the back door and he tensed, hand moving to the gun on his hip before Murphy shook his head. “It’s Echo. Raven is at the front. Jordan and Miller are flanking nearby. Figured we might need some guard if the Primes catch wind that we took one of them out.”

Bellamy relaxed, giving the man a grateful look.

“She might need a transfusion.”

Abby’s words snapped him back to reality, lips parting to speak but no words came out. He didn’t even know Clarke’s _blood type_.

“Here.” Madi moved forward without blinking an eye, yanking off her top layer so fast it was like it’d offended her. She yanked up her sleeve, exposing her forearm. “Madi..”

“Natblida’s are all universal.” Gaia spoke softly. “Sharing the same type as Becca Pramheda.”

“Yeah, but Clarke wasn’t _born_ one, this might not—” “ _Bellamy_!” Madi snapped, glaring up at him despite the tears in her eyes. But she didn’t look angry- not at _him_ anyways- “We have to try.”

He looked at everyone before down at Clarke, her breathing still just as shallow, her body limp, the life slowly draining out of her.

“Okay.”

Abby miraculously had everything needed and in a matter of minutes Madi was seated in the same chair Jo-Clarke had been, Abby cleaning a spot on her forearm before injecting the needle. The little girl barely batted an eye, instead staring intently towards Clarke’s form. Murphy had done the same to Clarke, moving her onto her stomach, arm outstretched and a needle sticking out. They all watched with morbid fascination as black liquid filled the tube connecting them. Abby worked all the while, hands surprisingly (thankfully) surgeon-steady as she disinfected the area and worked to methodically close up the wound, her stiches smaller, more precise than the ones the Lightbournes had used for Josephine and once again, Bellamy was unaware of how much time had passed, of how Murphy was actually pretty damn good at helping Abby out. All he was thinking about was Clarke.

Finally though Abby snipped the end of the thread and smoothed out the lines of a bandage over the wound and she stepped back, nodding. “Okay. It’s all done. John, you can slowly end the transfusion.” Doing as told, Murphy finished it up, carefully removing the needle from the crook of Madi’s elbow, letting Gaia tape down a wad of cotton over the spot to stem the bleeding. Bellamy hated the sight of the bruise already forming on the area, hated the fact that Clarke would have a similar one, but he stamped down those feelings for now.

He let Murphy finish draining the last of the blood into Clarke before he cleaned up the spot on her arm himself, gentle as he wiped away a stray blood droplet and carefully putting the gauze over the injection sight.

“And now we wait.”

Abby’s voice was quiet, almost hopeful, and the others just nodded.

“You guys should get Madi out of here.” Bellamy finally spoke, looking behind himself to the others and he held up a hand when the girl opened her mouth to argue. “Madi, seriously. It’s not going to take long for them to realize what we’ve done. They _cannot_ get to you.” _I have to make good on the last thing I promised Clarke_. “Please, Madi.”

Reluctantly she agreed, securing her jacket back over herself and letting Gaia stick to her side. Abby cleaned off everything (including herself) as best she could, erasing any sight of nightblood from herself before she headed off with the girls. Murphy stayed behind, scrubbing his arms clean with an already-dirty rag.

“Murphy, you don’t have to stay.”

“Someone’s gotta clean up this mess. Besides, most of it’s ‘cause of me anyways.” He nodded to Jade’s body still crumpled on the floor, a pool of red starting to be seen even from across the room. “I’ll take care of this, you take care of her.” Murphy’s eyes were on Clarke then and Bellamy sighed softly, nodding.

While Bellamy cleaned the blood away from Clarke’s neck and from her hair as best he could, Murphy went to work wiping the black from the floor, from the table and chair they’d used. Together they managed to carefully lift Clarke up long enough to strip the bed and with the soiled linens Murphy went to Jade’s body, wrapping her up in it along with the blood-soaked rags and towels to be buried once night fell. Bellamy heard Murphy muttering softly, but he didn’t call him on it. Instead he thought it to himself as well.

 _Yu gonplei ste odon_.

Murphy did a once over of the room again, making sure it was all spotless. He was trying to bide his time, Bellamy could tell, but…it was pointless. She was breathing, but she still wasn’t waking up. He was finally painfully aware of the clock, of ever minute that’d passed without her opening her eyes.

“Bellamy…”

He refused to look up when Murphy said his name. It was the same tone he’d used on the Ring, every time Bellamy had been caught staring out the window down at Earth, lost in his thoughts of Clarke being left for dead, of Bellamy being the one to leave her behind.

“This tech it…it’s different than the one the Grounders have for the Flame. Once it’s in…” _once it’s in, it’s not supposed to be taken out. Not until the Host is dead again anyways._

Bellamy shook his head, running his hand raggedly through his messy curls, tugging on the ends a bit as he got to the back of his head. “She’s still breathing. She’s still there. I know it.” He couldn’t think of the alternative. He couldn’t let himself even _think_ the words _brain dead_. He didn’t think he could handle it if he did.

“It’s gonna be nightfall soon. You and the others should head up for dinner. Keep up appearances. If all of us don’t show up, they might get suspicious. We need to keep off the radar for as long as we can til we figure out what to do next.”

“You really expect me to go and have a meal right now after all _this_?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I expect. And keep your eyes on Madi. Don’t let her out of your sight. And don’t...speak in Trig too much. It could look suspicious. Like we’re hiding something.”

“Oh you mean like the makeshift body bag and that one of their Primes being gone again?” he snarked even as he sighed and dropped his now-clean knife beside the bed for Bellamy to have. “I’ll be back.”

And with that, he was gone, and Bellamy was finally alone with Clarke.

~~Or what was left of her anyways.~~

* * *

Bellamy sat on the floor next to the bed, holding Clarke’s hand in his as he looked out one of the small windows, able to watch a glimpse of the suns setting.

“Up on the ring, this was my favorite part of the day. Sunset. It was beautiful. The Earth, for just a few moments, was beautiful. But then the sun had set and clear as day, we could see the scorched planet. The havoc we caused. …The havoc I left you in.”

He tipped his head back against the edge of the mattress, running his thumb absently against the side of her palm. “When Madi told me you’d radioed me…and when you told me it was silly? I really didn’t think it was. Not at all. And not just because it made me feel…good, really good, that _I_ was the one that you wanted to talk to, but because it…was sort of what I did up there too.”

“When I was up on the Ring, I’d wander off a lot, and they’d usually find me by the window. Looking down at the Earth. Looking down at you. And whenever I did….I’d talk to you. At first it was apologies. Guilt. Grief. I’d let out everything I’d been feeling over leaving you to die. But after a while…I just..started talking. Almost like you were right there next to me. Like right now. …And like you? It helped keep me sane. It helped me _not_ to feel like the monster I thought I was.” His voice started catching in his throat a bit, a knot forming in his lungs. “..Like the one that I feel like I am right now for what I might’ve done to you…”

“N’t a mn’ster..”

Bellamy scrambled up so quickly it made his head spin.

His eyes were wide, teary as she spun around, kneeling beside the bed and he watched her, heart in his throat as Clarke’s eyelids fluttered for a moment before finally, _finally_ cracking open just a bit, giving Bellamy a glimpse of the blue he thought he might never get to really see again.

“Clarke?”

She took a minute, lashes fluttering and blinking closed again a few times before she shifted and her eyes looked up to his, a bit dazed and heavy-lidded, but _there_. “ _Clarke_ …”

It was her. He could see it in her gaze, could _feel_ it. This wasn’t Josephine any longer. It was just Clarke.

Bellamy felt a few tears escape, rolling down his cheeks and he sucked in a shuddering breath, letting his head drop down onto her chest for just a second before he looked back at her, moving his free hand to cup her cheek, running his thumb along the soft skin. She gave him a tired little smile, her fingers squeezing lightly around his own. “Hey..”

For a while there, he never thought he’d hear her voice again.

“Hey, princess.”

She tried to sit up then, shuffling to move and he quickly shook his head and nudged her back down. “No, hey stop. Just relax. You’ve been through a lot. Madi needed to give you a blood transfusion. You need to let your body rest.”

At the mention of her daughter’s name Clarke’s eyes widened for a moment but Bellamy shook his head. “She’s okay, I promise. I made sure Murphy knew to stick on her. He and Gaia will keep her safe. So will the others.” That seemed to help and she relaxed a bit. She still looked disoriented, looking around the room for a moment, her blinks slow, heavy, before she finally looked back at him. “It…it’s kinda fuzzy but..I think I remember….almost everything.”

He felt a little bit of a flush heating his neck at the thought that he’d shared a bed with her the last two days, all the time spent together, Josephine telling him that she loved him, that his name was the one most constant in Clarke’s head. He just nodded. “Then you know I mean it when I say I made sure Madi is safe.”

She squeezed his hand again, a little smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “You kept me safe too.”

This time it was his turn to give a little smile. “Always.”

* * *

 

It was about another hour later when the same two quick knocks were against the back door, followed by Murphy walking inside, practically steeling himself for the potential of walking into the sight of Bellamy curled over Clarke’s lifeless body. So when he saw Clarke sitting up in headboard of the bed, Bellamy sitting in front of her with his legs outstretched over the side, all he could do was pause for a second and then smirk. “I really do stand by what I said- you really _are_ the cockroach between the two of us.”

Clarke gave him a smile- still a bit pale-looking, still clearly not in full health, but that spark was back in her eyes, one Josephine could never mimic no matter how hard she tried.

“I learned from the best.”

Soon enough the others were in the room too, all with shared smiles of relief, and it took everything in Madi to not catapult herself into Clarke’s lap, instead carefully sitting beside her and wrapping her arm around her middle. Bellamy watched the two of them fondly, his expression softening. He felt Clarke’s eyes on him and he looked up, a dusting of pink coloring his face at being caught, but he didn’t look away and just smiled at her.

They all spoke for a bit, the relief palpable in the air, but eventually the atmosphere started feeling serious, the levity of Clarke being back and being _okay_ being replaced by one very serious matter.

The Lightbournes.

“They’re not going to be all too happy when they find out we took Josephine out.”

“Neither will the rest of the people.”

“We’re not exactly gonna be welcome here for much longer.”

“Where will we even go? We don’t know what else is out there outside of here.”

“Is that radiation shield even functioning yet?”

“What if there’s another eclipse? How often do they even _happen_?”

“ _Guys_.” Clarke spoke up as loudly as she could, putting her free hand up (the one not still wrapped around Madi’s shoulders). Everyone at least stopped, looking to her. She swallowed. Not for the first time, she had no idea what to do. But….her people were looking to her to lead them, to guide them.

She looked to Bellamy, who simply nodded. Whatever plan she came up with, he’d agree to.

“The…The Children of Gabriel. Josephine kept thinking about them. They’re the people outside of the shield. They hate the Primes…..and they know how to live. _Outside_ of here.”

“But Clarke, they clearly have it out for Nightbloods. Look what they did to that little girl, and what they tried to do with Delilah.”

They all looked to Jordan, some of them nodding. Clarke nodded as well, biting her lip. “I know. I know, it’s risky. But…if they see we took the Primes out? That we’re not an enemy? Maybe they can help…There’s gotta be more to this planet than just Sanctum.”

They all shuffled a bit, but there was a murmur of agreement, more nodding.

“Take the Primes out?” Madi was the one to speak this time, looking up at Clarke questioningly and Clarke let out a breath before nodding. “This can’t go on. Centuries of sacrificing people…it has to end. No one’s a god. No one should be immortal.” She looked over to the bowl on the table then, knowing the bloodied chip was still inside. “And I’m going to be the one to do it.”

“ _Clarke_.” Bellamy this time, speaking up for the first time, but Clarke shook her head.

“Bellamy, I’m the only one that can get close enough. They’ll still think I’m Josie. Russell is the leader. We take out him first. Then Simone. Torch the lab too. Wipe the files, so no one can ever be taken over again.” She looked to Jordan and Raven as she said the last bit, watching them both nod. “Most of the people here are innocent. I don’t even think they truly know what’s done to the hosts of the Primes. But even if they do? …It’s not up to us if they live or die. We’re not gods either.”

“What if the people try to kill us as we leave? Are we still letting them live then?”

Clarke looked over at Echo’s question, for the first time meeting the other’s woman’s eyes and she hesitated before letting out a little hum. “If they try it, we’ll take down their shield. For good. They know I’m a nightblood. They don’t know about the rest of you. They won’t think it’s a bluff if they think we can all survive without protection from the radiation.”

It was all risky, but they all knew it’d have to be done. They wouldn’t be able to stay here much longer. Clarke could only keep up the guise of Josephine for so long, after all, and with Jade dead, that timeline became even more limited. They had to act, and fast.

But not tonight though.

They should at least get one more night of normalcy, of some semblance of peace, before throwing themselves into another war.

“Start getting your things together. Get supplies. Food, water, clothes, medicine. Things we can use on the ship.” There was a murmur of agreement after Bellamy spoke, their next course of action set. They wouldn’t be in Sanctum for much longer.

One by one they all started filing out of the room, Madi and Abby the most reluctant to leave before Clarke assured them she’d be fine and then it was just her and Bellamy and a silence in the air. He got up to lock the doors and draw the blinds, pausing when he heard her moving behind him. He watched her move to the edge of the bed, dragging the little table over towards her, the bowl with the chip still on it. He was silent as she looked at her, seeing a dozen different emotions flitter through her features.

“Josie wasn’t….she wasn’t a bad person. Trust me, we shared a brain for almost a week.”

He moved over to her, sitting beside her on the bed again.

“She was brilliant and carefree. Fearless in a way I don’t think I could ever be.”

“I’d have to disagree with you on that.”

Clarke looked over at him, biting her lip.

“Clarke…you’re the most fearless person I know. Everything you’ve gone through? All the demons in your past? It could bring people to their knees. And yet here you are, still fighting. Still surviving. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Maybe the strongest _she’s_ ever met either, given you’re the first one to ever survive…what they’ve done to hosts.”

She looked away at that before letting out a long, slow breath. He _did_ have a point. She was the first to survive. The first to still have an _After_. She wanted to be the last. She didn’t want anything like this to ever happen to anyone on this planet again.

With that thought in mind she shifted forwards, grabbing the knife that was on the table.

“Thank you for letting me come back to my family. I promise you won’t be forgotten.”

Bellamy saw the way Clarke’s eyes glossed over with unshed tears as she stared down into the bowl for a moment more before she suddenly took in a deep breath and moved, plunging the knife inside and severing the AI, the chip cracking apart into pieces at the bottom of the bowl.

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment, a single tear falling as she mourned for a would-be friend.

“She liked you, you know.” Clarke spoke up after a minute or so of silence, opening her eyes once more. “You reminded her of the boy she loved. Gabriel.” This time it was Clarke’s turn for her cheeks to tinge pink as she spoke, but she still said the words and Bellamy hummed in response, watching her.

“You said you remembered most of what’d happened…most of what was said. Do you remember what she said about me?” Bellamy asked cautiously, feeling his heart tripping a bit in his chest. “In the beginning…she said my name was the one that was the loudest in your thoughts. And…and before what happened tonight…she said you loved me.”

“Well of _course_ I love you—”

“Clarke.” His hand moved over hers, causing her words to catch and die in her throat. She turned her head to look up at him, her eyes wide, almost scared. “I think we both know what she meant.”

He’d just called her fearless, and yet she’d never been more scared of anything in her life.

Still, she swallowed, her eyes up on his, searching. He didn’t look away. He shifted his hand a bit, his fingers curling around hers and in turn hers squeezed back, her heart hammering in her chest.

“...Of course I love you.”

Her tone was different now, the words practically whispered as she breathed out the admission, as if it were the most obvious, inevitable thing in the world to her: that she’d been in love with Bellamy Blake for as long as she could even remember.

What little breath that was still in her lungs was soon taken away though as Bellamy leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in response.

She let out a little noise, soft and barely there, before finally responding, pressing into it and kissing him back softly. Her poor heart almost giving out again for the second time that night as his lips moved against hers. She allowed herself to bask in it all for a moment before finally pulling back, giving a little shake of her head. “W-Wait, wait…”

He tugged back immediately, something cold twisting in his chest that he’d done something wrong, that maybe he’d read it all wrong and she didn’t actually want this. “What..?”

Clarke swallowed, guilt starting to grow inside herself “Bellamy, I—we can’t. Echo…”

Bellamy paused for a second at that before his shoulders sagged and he let out a breath, shaking his head. “Of course I love her.” He murmured, his tone obvious, in the same way Clarke had said it before. _Of course he loved her, because she was his friend, his family_. He reached up, tucking a loose strand of her short blonde hair behind her ear, letting his fingertips trace along the line of her cheek.

“She um…Echo. She broke up with me already though. I guess she saw what I’ve been too stubborn to admit.”

Clarke’s eyes widened a bit, her heart skipping.

“That I’ve really only ever been in love with one person. The same one. Every time my feet touch the ground.”

This time it was Bellamy that was left breathless as Clarke rocked forwards and kissed him once again.

* * *

 

It’d been the third night that week that Bellamy stayed over to sleep in Clarke’s room. It was the first night that they didn’t even try to be subtle about wanting it though. Bellamy curled up behind her, around her, keeping her arm protectively over her as they slept and in turn Clarke pressed into him, lacing her fingers over his against her middle.

They stayed that way all night, legs tangled together as the moon bled into the sun, the next day starting. It was a sharp knock on her door that had them springing away. In a second Bellamy had his arm off Clarke and his hand on the gun against his hip, his eyes narrowing as he heard Russell’s voice on the other end.

“ _Josie? You awake yet?”_

They shared a look before Clarke gave him a nudge and a warning look. “I, uh—just a sec, dad!’

“ _Clarke_.” “I’ll be fine. But you need to hide. _Now_.”

She was suddenly painfully aware of the body still in the corner of the room too and she swallowed thickly, glancing around before grabbing a long black silk robe and tugging it on. She made sure her hair was completely covering the nape of her neck, that the robe was cinched tight lest any spots of black blood be seen on her skin or clothes and she waited til Bellamy was safely hidden in a closet to open the door.

“Am I not allowed to sleep in?” Clarke asked in lieu of a greeting, hoping she got the higher pitch of her voice right and keeping the door open just enough so she could lean against the frame while still keeping most of the room hidden. Russell looked her over worriedly, shaking his head. “You missed supper last night. In fact, I barely saw you at _all_ yesterday..”

Clarke just gave him a bright smile, shrugging. “Dad, I told you. I’m getting info out of the Earth crew.” “Yes, well—” “You know, I think _all_ of them could be nightbloods.” She cut him off easily, hoping it would distract his train of thought. “It’s not exactly easy info to get out of them but...I think I might be right. Maybe I’ll accidentally give Bellamy a paper cut today, prove my theory right or not.”

Josephine was prone to babbling, something Clarke was hoping she was pulling off right now as she just kept on smiling bright and easy up at the man who’d almost murdered her—who already believed he had.

“And speaking of? They might be expecting me for breakfast since I, _Clarke_ , bailed on dinner last night. Gotta keep up appearances, you know?” She gave Russell a nudge before leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I’ll come find you later? We can have some one-on-one time.”

Russell sighed but nodded, cupping her cheek (Bellamy clenched his fists where he’d been watching from the closet, every fiber in his body screaming at him to attack, for Russell to _not touch her again_ ) “Alright, alright, you win. No more sleeping though, get dressed and come join the rest of the world. We miss you.”

When he finally nodded his head, seemingly appeased, Clarke felt herself relax. Ironically enough, she also felt herself focus even more.

Little did he know, he’d just agreed to his death sentence.

* * *

 

Getting Bellamy on board with Clarke being the one to kill Russell was one thing, but getting him to agree to her doing it completely _alone_ was another thing entirely.

“Bellamy, you can’t just waltz on in there—” “The hell I _can’t_ —” “You won’t even make it past the front door!”

“And if he realizes it’s _you_ and not Josie before you can kill him? What if he even already knows and he agreed to meet privately later for it to be a trap? Clarke, come _on_. _Please_.”

Bellamy rarely ever begged, and right now, he damn near looked like he was close to getting on his knees. He looked a bit frazzled, distressed, and she closed the small distance between them, taking his hands and giving them a squeeze, trying to soothe him. He closed his eyes for a second; taking in a long, slow breath, he tried to calm himself before looking back to her eyes. “I’m sick and tired of getting you back only to have to lose you again. I….I don’t know how many more times I can handle it. So just...please. Talk with him over breakfast. Pick a place to go, and I’ll get there first. I won’t budge. I won’t be seen. I won’t stop you from doing what you need to do. But I need to be there. If things go wrong—I just…I need to be there.”

Finally she relented, and in response he ducked down, kissing her long and slow. ‘Making up for how you _should’ve_ been woken up this morning’ he mumbled in explanation against her lips, kissing her for a few more long seconds before they both pulled back. As they did, they both felt a shift in themselves.

They had a job to do. And if they did it right, if they pulled it off, they’d have all the time in the world to kiss again after.

Breakfast went well enough, everyone trying their best to act normal. Clarke (as Josephine) played it off best, managing to act like Josephine acting like Clarke as they all felt Russell and the other Primes watching them for the entirety of the meal. And then the plan really got into motion.

As Josephine, Clarke had no problem going to the front where the Lightbournes were seated, the guards parting with ease, and Russell agreed to speaking with her in private in Josephine’s room, Clarke having to use Madi as bait (“The child is a Host. But there’s so much more these people have shared. Stuff that could solve our problems for good but...I don’t think it’s best to talk about in public like this.”) It seemed to work, since Clarke saw a spark of interest in the man’s eyes.

Smiling satisfactorily Clarke stood up straighter, making a show of going back to her friends. She met Bellamy’s eyes, gave an unperceivable nod of her head, and then he was off, followed shortly by the others. Bellamy was to hide in the room while Gaia, Echo, and Murphy guarded Madi. Raven and Jordan were to wipe everything in the lab clean, destroy anything and everything so they’d never be able to reincarnate again. The rest were to get their things ready to leave.

This would be their last morning in Sanctum.

* * *

 

Clarke got to the room first, glancing to the closet towards the back that Bellamy was hiding in. She felt both nervous and assured, feeling the weight of her gun against her back, the metal of her blade strapped to her hip. She’s killed countless people, been in more fights and wars than anyone had a right to be in, but this, now, felt like the most important kill of her life. More than ever before, the fate of her people depended on this- on her.

She’ll bear it so they don’t have to.

Her eyes jumped up when the door opened and she smiled at Russell, forcing herself to relax.

“So, what’s so important that you found out about that you were practically jumping out of your skin to tell me?”

“Exactly what I told you- something that can solve our problems. But it’s not information I thought would be good to say aloud. After all, we’ve been breached already before.” Clarke said smoothly, keeping the pitch of her voice high, light. “We’re not totally sure if there’s still not traitors in Sanctum.”

He seemed to buy it and he nodded, even making a show of closing the door.

“Go on.”

Clarke watched him lock the door, eyes narrowing just the tiniest bit before she looked back up at him, watching him come closer.

“Clarke wasn’t born a nightblood.”

That made him pause before continuing to move closer to her. (And somewhere in the back of the room, Bellamy froze too. _Clarke, what are you doing_.)

“She was made into one thanks to her mother. These people _know_ how to make nightbloods.” As she spoke he came closer, stopping right in front of her. Towards the end she let her voice drop, back to normal, back to _Clarke_. “It could’ve solved all your problems.”

Clarke hadn’t noticed Russell’s hand moving from where they were crossed behind his back, but from his position in the closet, Bellamy saw it. He saw the point of a needle. More than that, strapped to the back of Russell’s belt, he saw glint of a knife.

“Clarke, move!”

Just as Bellamy yelled Russell moved to strike, raising up his hand to try and stab Clarke with the paralytic, but she dodged it just in time, the needle just inches from her neck. She managed to dislodge the syringe but with his other hand he got the knife out, and she couldn’t move fast enough to dodge that. The dagger sliced across her forearm, making her hiss in pain but Bellamy was there, coming up behind him.

“GUAR—” Bellamy punched him in the face before he could finish yelling out for help, his eyes blazing. He glanced up to see Clarke’s sleeve quickly staining black with blood but she ignored it, instead scrambling for the needle before Russell could grab it again.

“You’re done. You and your family. All of you. Like Josie said, you’re not gods.”

Using his daughter’s name seemed to ignite something in him. Russell kicked his leg out, knocking Bellamy off balance by purposefully aiming for his bad leg and by the time Bellamy hit the ground Russell had his knife against Bellamy’s throat, Clarke pointing the gun at Russell’s head. She didn’t want to use it though. A gunshot would definitely alert everyone outside to what was going on. They might definitely not make it out of here alive if they were swarmed by armed guards…

“I don’t know how you did it Miss Griffin…or what your plan here was. But I assure you. You’re the one who’s done here. The child, Madi? She’ll be first. And we’ll kill your people one by one if they’re not useful to us until your mother cracks and shows us how to engineer the blood. You’re right. We’re not gods. We’re _better_.”

As he spoke he pressed the tip of the blade more against Bellamy’s jugular, a pinprick of blood rolling down his neck.

Russell glanced down at it, smirking. “Red. Seems like your use has run out, Mr. Blake.”

“ _Q_ - _Quia_.”

His smirk was still there but his brows furrowed a bit, head tilting ever so slightly. Strange last word. “Come again?”

Bellamy swallowed, the bob of his adam’s apple digging in the knife a bit more but he kept his eyes up on Russell, gaze narrowed. “ _Quia nunc vale.”_

At first nothing happened, but the confusion Russell Lightbourne felt gave enough time, because a second later he let out a cry of pain, his grip on the knife faltering. It gave them the opening they needed. Bellamy wrangled the knife away, kicking Russell off him and Clarke lowered the gun, taking her blade out instead. She rushed over to him, coming up behind him so she could wrap her arm around Russell’s neck, this time the one with a blade to his throat. “The only one dying here today is _you_.”

Russell struggled, trying to fight her off, but the chip in his head felt like it was _moving_ , tangling with brainstem and ligaments and she knew what she had to do. In one quick move she brought the blade from the front to the back and stabbed it through the scar at the back of his neck, puncturing through and piercing the AI. Bellamy scrambled over, covering Russell’s mouth with his hand as the man screamed out, struggling, fighting, until finally the movements stopped, black blood gushing out over them all as she twisted the knife, made sure the brain and the chip were left useless.

The fighting stopped. He went limp. Breathless. Lifeless.

Russell Lightbourne was gone.

In the end, Clarke only had to let off one gunshot, but it seemed worth it, in the grand scheme of things. Simone Lightbourne had been alerted by Russell earlier that something wasn’t quite _right_ with Josephine, and he’d told her that if he didn’t come back within twenty minutes to come check on them, to bring two of their best guards. Clarke and Bellamy were in the process of trying to hide Russell’s body when the door burst open. Acting on instinct, Clarke shot the guard that made a move on Bellamy, the body crumpling to the floor, and Simone tried to scream for help before Bellamy stabbed her in the neck too. Clarke made quick work of the second guard while Bellamy made sure to destroy Simone’s chip. They laid the bodies together in the end, the fragments of their chips scattered besides them along with a note hastily scrawled by Clarke on top of the broken plastic, smears of black blood staining the page.

 _Here lie Simone and Russell Lightbourne. Last of their names_.

* * *

 

Getting out of Sanctum was surprisingly easier than getting in. Madi and her guard were already at the ship, followed soon after by the others. Inside they’d stored away dozens of bags of clothes and food and supplies they could use, medicine and maps and weapons. Raven and Jordan stole pieces of tech they could use to make radiation shields, to amp up their satellites. They also kept copies of some of the books Josephine wrote in the hopes that more information on the planet could help them survive outside of Sanctum.

Clarke and Bellamy boarded last, bleeding and injured but otherwise okay. They looked around at the nature around them one last time before Clarke and Bellamy closed the hangar door together

“Okay so …what now?”

Echo’s voice spoke up from where she was sitting beside Madi. She’d been quiet, watching as Clarke and Bellamy walked in together, their hands clasped. She seemed resigned but not angry. She knew this would happen after all, she always did.

They _all_ did.

It was evident by the looks on their faces: the smug smirks on Murphy and Raven’s faces, the bright, happy grins on Jordan’s and Madi’s.

Clarke looked down at her hand linked with Bellamy’s. Some of his red blood had smeared onto her skin and vice versa. They were dirty and tired, and all of them were a bit anxious.

But they were all together, all okay.

It’s what Monty had always wanted.

Clarke’s eyes moved up to Bellamy’s, giving him a soft smile, a soft squeeze to his hand before looking out to her friends—her family, “We find our own home here. Our own way to live. A better way. And we do it together.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to follow me over on tumblr @kissedmequiteinsane and we can cry together over bellarke and other fandomy things!


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